There’s something about springtime that screamsss sex and seduction. Maybe it’s the flowers, the swapping of our winter layers for light linens, or the great migration to outdoor happy hours. Spring puts a collective pep in our step to do more and try more, and we at ONE® are so excited to welcome the warmer weather.
This May we’re celebrating National Masturbation Month; 31 days dedicated to self love and self pleasure! No matter where you are in your sexual journey or what sex looks like for you, we want Masturbation May to be a time for everyone to celebrate themselves and their bodies.
Keep reading to learn about the benefits of masturbation and some of our favorite tips and tricks.
What is masturbation and what are the benefits?
There are endless pseudonyms for masturbation - wanking, jerking off, flicking the bean, jammin’ the clam - the list goes on and on. Masturbation is the act of touching oneself (particularly the sexual organs) for pleasure. Pleasure means something different to everyone and masturbation looks different for everyone. The possibilities are endless when it comes to feeling yourself, so let’s get into a few reasons to give it a try:
Good sex starts with knowing yourself intimately. Masturbation helps you figure out what types of touch you like, where it feels nice, where it doesn’t, and more. When we are alone we are free to explore without any pressure from being watched. Masturbation is a solo mission with no goal but to make yourself feel good - pretty therapeutic if you ask us.
Masturbation is a surefire way to avoid unintended pregnancy. To avoid transmitting STIs, avoid sharing sex toys (or use condoms and replace when switching partners).
While it’s not a permanent end to all stress in life, of course, masturbation can help you relax. Masturbation releases endorphins throughout your body. There’s no better way to relieve stress than a little rest, relaxation, and masturbation to end the day.
Masturbation is not strictly a solo activity! Watching your partner(s) masturbate or having them watch you masturbating can be equally titillating. In fact, people who engage in mutual masturbation also exhibit higher levels of sexual satisfaction in their romantic relationships.
Getting Started
So you want to give masturbation a shot but you don’t know where to start. First things first, let us remind you there’s no right and wrong when it comes to feeling good. However, it can help to have something to work from. Here’s what we would try if we were masturbating for the first time (oh.. the joy).
Set yourself up in a safe and comfortable space.
If it’s your first time masturbating you’ll want to be in a safe and comfortable space (with no chance of an accidental walk in). Lock the door, crawl into bed, and dim the lights. It’s time for you-time.
Get the vibes right.
Just because you aren’t with a partner doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go the extra mile to set the mood. LED or fairy lights can be a great way to take your room from cozy to sexy. You can also put on one of these 10 Steamy Movies On Netflix That Will *Really* Turn You On or choose a premade Sexy Playlist.
Start slow.
It may feel like you don’t know what you're doing and that’s okay! Start by stretching, caressing, and feeling the non sexual parts of your body. Take a moment to appreciate your skin and sensation. If you feel up to it, undress yourself and imagine a lover doing it for you (if you feel more comfortable clothed, that’s more than okay, too)!
Experiment!
Touch here, touch there, touch everywhere. Try different speeds, rhythms, positions, sexual pleasure zones, touch and feel it all! While we can’t know what will work on you, we do know experimentation is the key to self pleasure and intimacy.
Enjoy the journey.
Masturbation is a journey, not a destination. You might not reach the Big-O right away, but don’t rush and stay open minded. You might need to try a toy or a new sensation; finding out is what makes the journey so pleasurable.
How to Elevate
For those who are experienced in masturbation but want to bring it to the NEXT level, here are some ways you can be even more fulfilled in your self pleasure ritual.
Sex Toys
Sex toys are an amazing way to enhance your masturbation experience. They come in all shapes, sizes, materials, colors, textures and have all different kinds of uses and applications. There are vibrators, dildos, beads, penis rings, pumps, harnesses and so much more to choose from.While the world of sex toys is an exciting one, we recommend starting with something simple and experimenting as you grow comfortable. For people with vaginas, check out one of these Vibrators for Beginners. For people with penises, explore the Best Sex Toys for Men to see all the different kinds of tools you can use. We’re also huge fans of the comics and educational content at SheVibe, and their toy buying guide.
Mutual masturbation
Great news! If you love masturbating alone you can also enjoy it together. Mutual masturbation can be viewed or done in one of two ways: When two partners masturbate together in front of each other or by stimulating each other's genitals. There’s something incredibly intimate about watching your partner make themselves feel good or doing so in tandem. It can be a great form of foreplay or a “show instead of tell” way to teach your partner where you like it and how. It’s also great for long-distance couples, or while someone is traveling. Really puts a new spin on FaceTime.
Lube
Our team and customers can attest to the magic of lubrication and the world of pleasure it can open. A recent estimate suggested that as many as 78% of people worldwide regularly masturbate. So the next time you’re self pleasuring, lube might be a nice way to kick it up a notch.For people with a penis, lube can help reduce friction and chafing (whether or not you have foreskin), creating smooth motion. For people with vaginas, lube can jumpstart the production of vaginal fluid and supplements natural lubrication. You can browse the ONE® collection of premium lubes on our site and try silicone-based, water-based, and hybrid formulations for yourself!
Ethical porn
We can’t talk about masturbation without talking about porn. While of course the two can exist alone, porn is a common visual stimulant used to aid the masturbation experience. The porn industry has a long dark history, but there are now means to enjoy porn in an ethical way that protects and supports the creators. Bellessa is a women owned and operated company dedicated to creating porn that looks and feels real. Bellesa Films believes that how sex is depicted online has real life implications, and so do we. Creators at Bellessa are encouraged to communicate their needs and enjoy the experience for themselves instead of the cameras. Similarly, Erika Lust is a filmmaker creating sex-positive cinema focused on female pleasure, cinematic values, diversity, and an ethical production process. Other options include CHEEX, Make Love Not Porn, Aortafilms, and Dreams of Spanking. As a rule of thumb (or finger), always check your website of choices policy to ensure their values align with your own and that performers are fairly credited and compensated.
Smutty Literature
Smutty books, or erotic fiction, are like a secret stash of pleasure. They're the spicy novels that set hearts racing and pulses pounding, celebrated for their ability to whisk readers away into realms of unapologetic desire and tantalizing temptation. With their sizzling scenes and steamy storylines, these books offer a joyous escape into a world where your fantasies can come alive. If you think reading while masturbating is just too much, or just don’t want to read, there are plenty of audiobook options!
Check your fit!
Masturbation is the gateway to partnered pleasure. You can learn all about your nooks and crannies & your kinks and caboodles – but solo play is also an extremely useful activity when it comes to partnered safer sex. Masturbation with a condom is a great way to see how you like the fit and feel of a condom, before you test the condom in a sexual situation with a partner.
Because regular condoms are 7 inches long, they are too long for about 91% of users (average penis size being about 5-5.5 inches in length). Many people also need a snugger width (to avoid condom slippage) or a wider girth (to prevent erection loss and the dreaded “red ring of death”). A proper condom fit is the combination of the right condom length and width, which is why we offer 10 different lengths and 9 different widths through our MyONE® Custom Fit™ lineup.
When you find your MyONE® FitCode® (either by using the FitKit or Enter Your Measurements tool) you will be prompted to “Get Samples” of that FitCode. That will take you to a product page so that you can order a sample kit. The sample kit comes with the size you measured - plus another close size.
This is so you can test out something based on your penis length and girth measurements. Just pay shipping on the first sample kit. And if the initial sample kit isn’t a perfect fit, contact our Size Specialist support team. They will recommend and send a complimentary sample kit of another size, based on your experience.
If you’re not up to measuring, check out the newly launched MyONE® Custom Fit™ Quick Sample Kit 3-Packs! Each sample pack includes three different condom size samples from the Snug, Classic or Large condom range. Plus a FitKit measuring tool so people can measure and adjust their size at home as needed.
Whichever method you prefer, we highly recommend testing your condom alone, before trying with a partner. All of our condoms come pre-lubricated which only adds to the fun. For these purposes, it’s best to test the condom the same way you would actually use it for intercourse. So for example, if you plan on adding more lubricant when you do the deed, make sure to use it when masturbating. If you can’t find the right fit, just hit up Cosmo for assistance.
The best thing about this method is the fact that there’s no cleanup! You don’t need that towel or that old sock – lazy folks can stop ruining underwear t-shirts too. And once you find your perfect fit, why not keep the fun going? We hear from so many of our customers that they prefer to use our MyONE Custom Fit lineup for masturbation because of the premium lubrication and the ease of cleanup. It’s also nice just to mix things up every once in a while and explore your pleasure in a unique way. If condoms are a turn off for you, exposing yourself to them in this manner is a surefire way to decrease discomfort and maybe even start to get you excited about using one. Condoms shouldn't just be a tool, they should be pleasure-enhancing opportunities.
If you've learned anything from reading this article, stop reading now and go masturbate. Unless you’re at work or on the train or any other public place, then please just wait until you get home.