Here at ONE® Condoms, we love partnering with educators and advocates who are passionate about sexual health education. We recently partnered with educator Michaela Voux.
Check out her ONE Condoms highlight video on Pornhub, where she goes through our lubricants and condom styles. (Note: it’s a porn site, so some of the ads around the video will be naked people). Whether we’re educating in person or online, we’re all about new avenues and ways to bring sexual health info to people.
What inspired you to become a sex educator?
"I wish the answer was very straightforward and easy, but honestly… It really boils down to my four favorite topics: education, law, politics and the adult industry.
When I first started going to college, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I knew I loved educating others, I knew I had an interest in the law/legal system, and I regularly talked peoples ears off about politics.
I decided to major in law/political science because I saw an opportunity to help others. Whether it was helping those who face oppression, helping educate people on their legal rights, or help give people support and opportunities they may not have originally had access to, and to hopefully change the world for the better.
In short, I wanted to help people. Now, we get onto the portion about the Adult Industry.
When I was growing up, I always had a fascination with the Adult Industry… Dancers, Cam Girls, Porn stars, or the urge to be on a Playboy magazine. It didn’t matter, I loved it all. I should point this out, I was not involved in it until 2020. I just remained an outside admirer until then.
Back to the topic of college! I soon realized I loved what I was studying but college was not meant for me. So, what do you do when you drop out of college? Simple… You go out and you find a job.
In February 2020 I applied at Lover’s Lane to be a Romance Specialist. Basically, my job was to sell sex toys, lingerie, BDSM gear, sexual enhancers, lube, games, etc. Now, aside from just selling I also had to be an educator. Most of our customer base were people who were unfamiliar with sex or who were familiar with sex but needed some specialized help. We were there to help them have a better quality of life with themselves and their partner.
I really loved working at Lover’s Lane because I got to network with those in the Adult Industry, and educate people at the same time. This was the first place where I felt like I had found where I belonged.
While I was working at Lover’s Lane I was also hosting a political livestream on Twitch. Now here’s the ironic part of my story…
It was on my off day and I had put on the schedule that I needed to do a livestream. I don’t know why I woke up that morning having the urge to talk about lubricant. But, I decided to give in and just livestream about lube.
Honestly, I was expecting maybe 1 or 2 people to drop in and it be pretty uneventful. But I was way off! My livestream had an actual audience and everyone wanted to be involved!
The stream was very successful and left me with a strange realization. I realized for the first time in my life… I actually knew what I wanted to do and what my legacy was going to be."
What are some of the biggest challenges you hear from people regarding sex/sexuality? What advice do you give them?
"There are two pretty big ones that I notice and hear a lot. Both are so prevalent that I have actually fallen victim to these two challenges.
On the Topic of Sexuality: One of the biggest challenges is allowing ourselves to be ourselves when it comes to sex and not letting outside sources dictate how we should be.
In my opinion most people think that the term sexuality only applies to how you express your “sexuality”. What I mean by that is most people think that “sexuality” only has to do with the LGBTQ+ community or being heterosexual.
However, the topic I am talking about is: How do we express ourselves sexually, not attraction wise, but how we choose to be sexual? As I’ve grown over time, I’ve learned that many people have a lot of opinions, and a lot of those have to do with what they think is the “right” and “wrong” way to have sex. We can find a lot of these ideas/discourse in the topic of “Purity Culture” or the almighty war of Abstinence vs. Non-Abstinence.
I have noticed an issue on both ends, especially because both Abstinence vs. Non-Abstinence have the same problem. This problem being social pressure! There is pressure to wait until marriage or there is pressure to lose your virginity right away. This kind of pressure can cause a lot of mental harm and trauma.
I have found that there is no right answer.
To explain this, I’m going to share a personal story which pairs with the advice concerning this topic.
When I was growing up, I was very religious. I still am and it still plays a big part in my sexual journey and how I view the world. The interesting part is: my family was not as religious as I was. They were spiritual, but there is a distinct difference between being spiritual and being religious.
I had the idea that I was going to save myself for marriage. And not only was it and idea, but it was something I was going to follow through. I had made this decision very early on in my lifetime but even though I made it at such a young age I knew it was what was best for me. I brought this up to my family mainly because I was proud of the decision I made and I thought they would be proud of me too.
So, I told my family what I wanted to do. I am sure a lot of people are expecting my family to be very prideful about it. What I unfortunately received was a lot of questions, bullying, invalidation, and some light laughter.
I found that my mother was the one who found my idea to be… Well for lack of a better word… She thought it was stupid. As I began to get older and deal with being a teenager and all the horrible things that come with it, I found myself making the worst mistake of my life.
I internalized what my mother had said. I naturally did because I loved my mom and looked up to her and I was raised to believe that what she said was right.
Now, I would like to make a point that parents, religious figures, our peers, the media, and people we look up to play a large role in our “sexual” development. Since we look up to these people/things we see them as being very influential and who we should model our lives after. The issue is sometimes these people are either not looking out for us, or they suffer from trauma, preconceived notions, or outdated ideas and values, or they are possibly pushing an agenda onto you.
With this being said I am sure we all know what comes next. I allowed myself to have my morals and boundaries violated.
I will put this very bluntly. I have worked through a lot of the trauma of it all, and I have learned many valuable lessons from my past. And so can you. But I will leave you with my advice!
Advice: There will be people who will try to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong. There will be people who will try to make you feel like what you are doing is wrong. When it comes down to sexuality the wonderful thing about it is… we are all unique! There is no right or wrong answer. The truth is we must do what is best for us and what makes us feel whole. As someone who’s life revolves around sex I will admit, sex is what makes the world go round and everyone will have something to say on it. However, one of my favorite quotes of mine is… “Sex is subjective.”
There is no right or wrong way to have it, there is nothing wrong with saving yourself or having multiple partners! As long as you are safe, sane, consenting and happy; that is what is most important.
Lastly, allowing “influential figures” to dictate parts of your life can be dangerous. I’ve seen this with adults and younger people too. I think it is important to mention that we are not a monolith, we are people with all kinds of different thoughts and feelings. At the end of the day, you know what is best for you! I could have saved myself a lot of trauma and hardship if I had stayed true to myself. Sex is amazing and it is even more amazing when you do it on your own terms. You are wonderful because you are you!
The two challenges I stated earlier are actually one and the same. In my mind the sexuality portion is more of a sociological/psychological perspective and the topic of sex it is more psychological/physical! Both however pertain to the challenge(s) of outside sources that may cause problems in our sex lives.
Working for Lover’s Lane has allowed me to really get a good view of how most people view themselves and sex. The other interesting part is I began to learn how the porn industry affected them too.
I’ve noticed a lot of people want to be the sex icons they see in movies, TV, and porn. I understand that completely because I have fallen victim to that too. So much in fact that I actually thought there was something wrong with me when I started having sex! It's sort of funny because I wasn’t alone on this issue. I have found that many people share some of these thoughts with me:
- Why isn’t anal sex easier?
- Why can’t I ride my boyfriend like the girl in that movie?
- There is something wrong with me because I can’t squirt.
- Why is it so easy for her to have an orgasm but it takes me 50 minutes?
- I own that toy she’s using…. Why does she find it so enjoyable, it's not that good?
- I wish my vagina/vulva wasn’t so (insert mean thing here)? Hers is so perfect.
- Why is sex so erotic in movies but mine doesn’t compare? I must not be doing something right.
- Why is my partner not always in the mood? / I’m not a good partner because I’m not in the mood.
- For people to enjoy me I must look a certain way.
- The fact that my natural lubrication isn’t as good as it used to be means I should be embarrassed with my body.
These are just a few! But I am sure you are going to have no problem expanding that list. I definitely know that I left out the male perspective, but… YOU ARE NOT ALONE EITHER!
A lot of this can do a major amount of damage to our self-esteem and it can really cause us to have an unfulfilling sex life! Especially because we are not appreciating the beautiful body that God has gifted us! We spend so much time comparing ourselves to others that we hardly have time to notice what makes us so amazing!
As someone who works in the Adult/Porn world let me spill some beans for you…. EVERYTHING IS STAGED. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G
A lot of work goes into producing porn, whether it is made by a studio or an amateur! Even when I am posting videos to my OnlyFans I still do a lot of editing. Now it’s not because I am trying to seem unauthentic, but it’s because I know no one is going to want to see the “slow” moments.
Most people don’t want to see the transition between shots, toys, positions, me telling my partner where to put the camera, me hiding pain because one of my toys just sucks today, or the occasional run to the bath room, or me CONSTANTLY fixing my outfit, or the hair I accidentally forgot to remove.
Porn/movies/TV shows are meant to sell a fantasy in some sense. The realistic things that people do will not sell that fantasy. Porn/certain media is not real, and the best thing we can do is admit that to ourselves. There is so much going on in the background that we don’t see. In my eyes all people are beautiful but let me tell you: A good makeup artist and a $500+ camera/well-placed iPhone can work wonders.
The best solution is realism and understand that somethings are fake. Not all things, but let's not act like that $15 battery operated jelly vibrator is going to give you the most amazing orgasm ever. And we have to admit that our bodies are different!
Aside from that I have taken on a task to help me with this issue, because let's be real: Even though I’m in the Adult Industry I still have these thoughts from time to time.
The Task: Stop giving a…Well you know. In one of my videos on OnlyFans I posted a video of me with a certain toy and the camera was zoomed in. It was the perfect image it was AMAZING, except that my razor only did so much the night before and I was left with a lot of hair (catch my drift?). I could not edit it out and the scene was too good to remove…. So, I told myself to put my big girl panties on and just leave it in. I was ashamed and embarrassed but the funny part is that nobody cared. Everyone on my OnlyFans loved it and thought it was great!
So basically, I just had to get over my ego. The goal of the task is to help let yourself go and be free, because honestly who cares if you have a lil extra hair.
All in all, your partner doesn’t and shouldn’t care, and if they do…Well they aren’t meant to be with such a beautiful person like you."
What inspired you to choose Pornhub as the channel you wanted to post videos on?
"I know a lot of people have that same question. I have had way too many people ask me why I’m on PornHub and not YouTube. And usually this question I have found is not out of curiosity.
I have been asked this question by a lot of potential business partners and other brands, and I have come to learn that it’s not because they are genuinely interested as to why I’m not on YouTube, but because they feel as though they can stick their noses up at Pornhub.
Short story long, I find that a lot of people like to belittle and be snide about Pornhub and my career on it. Strictly because it’s a porn site.
Before I get into my reasons why I chose Pornhub, I would first like to mention my appreciation to ONE Condoms. I think it's wonderful that such a large company is willing to support someone on Pornhub. In my eyes it shows a true desire to educate and help others.
I think a company that does not acknowledge all its markets and yet preaches about sexual education and wellness is really hypocritical. Just because a website produces pornography does not make it any less valid than a website that doesn’t produce pornography. Lastly, I feel like companies want to use the adult industry as a marketing tool but does not want to actually work with anyone who is in the industry or someone who is loud and proud to be a “Sex Worker.”
This is one of the big reasons why I love ONE Condoms. They take their job of sex education seriously, they don’t use it as a marketing ploy, and they fall into one of my mission statements. This is: EVERYONE DESERVES THE RIGHT TO GOOD SEX EDUCATION. Whether it’s Sex Workers or the general public, everyone deserves good quality education.
Now onto my reason for using Pornhub! Fair warning, we cannot talk about this without speaking on some politics. I will keep this as short and sweet as I can.
The first two points I will bring up is the passing of the Fosta-Sesta Bill which was passed by Congress in March 2018 and was signed into law April 11th of that same year. Also, 47 U.S. Code § 230 - Protection for private blocking and screening of offensive material, is another important topic that pertains to why I chose Pornhub. Please do note that the legal citation has to do with section 230 that was part of the Communications Decency Act. That portion 230 of the Communications Decency Act has been amended by Fosta-Sesta.
Let's get into the basics. Fosta-Sesta was created to help stop online sex trafficking. Which is very noble and extremely important because due to the evolution of the internet it has given criminals a new way and potentially easier way to harm others. So, the bill was originally created to fight back against criminals.
However, what this bill failed to speak on was the difference between consensual and non-consensual sex work. Which causes a very large issue. Due to this failure ,Fosta-Sesta manages to protect people and damage a marginalized community at the same time.
It also contradicts the right to free speech. In basic terms, it is allowing heavy censorship and discrimination towards those who do consensual sex work and work in the Adult Industry. Section 230 originally stated that websites would not be held responsible for what a user has posted. However, Fosta-Sesta has now made platforms responsible!
To sum up the issue at hand, I am placing in two quotes from vox.com:
“But FOSTA-SESTA creates an exception to Section 230 that means website publishers would be responsible if third parties are found to be posting ads for prostitution — including consensual sex work — on their platforms. The goal of this is supposed to be that policing online prostitution rings gets easier.”
“In the immediate aftermath of SESTA’s passage on March 21, 2018, numerous websites took action to censor or ban parts of their platforms in response — not because those parts of the sites actually were promoting ads for prostitutes, but because policing them against the outside possibility that they might was just too hard.”
So, I’m sure we all have a clearer picture of why I chose Pornhub. Sex education is something I am passionate about, and when I am passionate about things I like to give 110%. Due this worsening of censorship I would never be fully able to teach how I want on other platforms. Twitch made that abundantly clear when I was banned for a few days earlier this year.
My personal belief is that education should not be censored and I refuse to be censored when I am trying to teach people how to have better quality of life.
I chose Pornhub for 4 very specific reasons:
- It allows me to make content that is up to my standards without fear of censorship.
- I have better access to help the general public and other Sex Workers learn about their bodies and toys.
- It allows me to make money doing what I love, without fear that one day I may be kicked off their platform or my content will be demonetized.
- It is a free platform. I do not believe that people should have to pay for education. So, I chose a platform that would not censor me and allow free public access to.
In conclusion, we may only think that Fosta-Sesta only applies to Sex workers. That however is not the case; It applies to educators, brands, and to others who are in the Adult Industry. The “Porn” Industry has had a revolutionary impact on our society, though it does have its pitfalls and issues. Let’s not forget that porn has paved the way for many companies and technologies over the years. We may not always want to admit where our roots began but we do owe a lot to the industry for helping our art and products to make it to mainstream attention."
Who are some of your sex ed heroes / people you are inspired by?
"I really have only one and the reason she became one of my heroes is because everyone said I was a younger version of her…
A little backstory:
On my first Sex ed Twitch stream where I talked about lube I found myself being compared to a woman I had never heard of. Naturally I was curious for several reasons.
- Multiple people were saying it!
- I had no idea who she was!
- They continued to say it on later streams of mine!
The compliment was:
“You remind me of a young Dr. Ruth”
At the time I had no idea who Dr. Ruth was and so the compliment didn’t really compute when I first heard it, but now when people tell me that compliment it brings me to tears…in a good way!
When I learned I was being associated with someone I didn’t even know I instantly went into research mode, and I found several interesting facts.
- Ruth and I had met before. Well not actually met but I later realized she was on a box at Lover’s Lane! She was on the packaging for the Eroscillator! She had been under my nose the entire time and I never even realized it.
- She like me had gone through a lot of hardships in her early adulthood much like I had. Now I will add she had to leave her home to escape the threat of Nazis, so my hardships do not compare. But, in a weird way it makes me feel less alone knowing we both have faced a lot of trauma and have come out on top.
- She and I talk the same. We have a very realistic and blunt attitude. I really value people with those personality traits.
- We are both very short women from Europe. Now granted she is German and I am Romanian… But we short European ladies need to stick together!
Lastly, the heights she has reached are the places I soon hope to go in my lifetime. She has changed the world and I hope to live up to the amazing things she has done. She is truly an inspiration and I pray that one day I can ask her to sign my Eroscillator box. I think she’d get a kick out of it! I know I would."