shoot your shot: respectful flirting tips from the one® condoms community

You've probably heard someone say, "Just shoot your shot." It's one of Gen Z's favorite phrases, and it basically means: go for it. Make the first move. Tell your crush how you feel. Easy enough...right? Well, not exactly. Between dating apps, DMs, mixed signals, and the fear of rejection, making the first move can feel intimidating. So instead of guessing what actually works, we asked the people who know best—our ONE® community.

We asked two simple questions:

1. What's a respectful way someone can "shoot their shot" with you?

2. How would you respectfully shoot your shot with someone you're interested in?

All the responses had one thing in common: Respect is always attractive. Here's what our community had to say.

Be Direct, Respectfully

If there was one takeaway from this challenge, it's that confidence doesn't have to be complicated. Our community wasn't asking for elaborate pickup lines or over-the-top gestures. They simply wanted honesty.

One member shared:

"Send a DM or come up to me in person and tell me they find me attractive."

Another wrote:

"I always find it attractive (and respectful) when someone is direct."

Others said they'd appreciate hearing something as simple as:

"Hey, I think you're really cute."

Or:

"I'd love to get to know you better. Would you want to go on a date sometime?"

Being direct doesn't mean being pushy. It means communicating your interest clearly while giving the other person space to decide how they feel. And honestly? That's pretty refreshing. If they’re not interested, say thank you and walk away. It’s all about communication and respecting someone’s boundaries. 

Start with Shared Context

Sometimes the easiest way to shoot your shot isn't with a pickup line—it's with a conversation. Many ONE® community members said they like when someone starts by talking about something they already have in common. For example, met at the gym? Talk about your workout. At a concert? Ask about the artist. At a community event? Ask how they heard about it.

One member shared that they usually DM someone after meeting them somewhere, but always start by talking about the place they met before asking for their number.

Another respondent loves inviting people to grab coffee and people-watch because it's something they genuinely enjoy and it's a low-pressure way to get to know someone.

The lesson? Shared experiences make great conversation starters—and even better first dates.

Make a Plan. Show Some Effort.

The ONE® community isn’t looking for expensive dates (although there’s no problem with that). They’re looking for intention and effort. One community member expressed that what stands out most is when someone actually makes a plan instead of leaving all the work to the other person.

Great examples of this could be:

• "Want to grab coffee this weekend?"

• "Would you want to go hiking?"

• "There's a concert Friday—want to go together?"

Several community members shared stories that started exactly this way. One invited a friend on a hike. They shared, “A few hiking dates later, we made it official."

Another met someone while working a college event. After chatting throughout the evening (and convincing them to join the dance floor), they made plans to hang out again! Sometimes showing effort isn't about planning something extravagant. It's simply showing that you're genuinely interested in spending time together.

Respect the Answer (Even If It's No)

This was, without question, the biggest theme we saw. Respect doesn't end after you shoot your shot. It continues no matter what the answer is. One community member shared that they appreciate someone who: "...doesn't corner me or intimidate me...and is respectful if I say no."

Another wrote something we think deserves to be on a T-shirt: "Coercion is not sexy." 

We agree. No one owes anyone a date, a phone number, or another chance. If someone isn't interested, thank them for their honesty, wish them well, and move on. Handling rejection with kindness and respect says just as much about your confidence as asking someone out in the first place.

Confidence Looks Different for Everyone

Not everyone in our community had a picture-perfect success story. Some had never shot their shot before. Some admitted they've had plenty of "airballs." Others met long-term partners after making the first move. A community member even shared that they repeatedly went back to the bartender for water just to keep talking.

Another said they'd only ever made the first move once—and it worked. The point isn't whether every attempt works out. The point is showing up authentically.

The Takeaway

If our community taught us anything, it's that respectful flirting isn't about finding the perfect line. It's about creating a comfortable moment where two people can genuinely connect.

Be honest. Give a sincere compliment. Start with something you have in common. Make a thoughtful plan. Always respect boundaries and accept the answer whatever it is.

Those aren't just green flags in dating. They're green flags in communication!

Keep the Conversation Going with ONE® Community Programs

Challenges like this are one of our favorite parts of the ONE® Momentum® and ONE® College Ambassador community. Momentum® members can earn rewards by participating in challenges, surveys, and purchasing products from our website, while College Ambassadors take that engagement a step further through weekly activities, educational training, and campus outreach. Together, these programs make it easy to learn, participate, and help promote sexual wellness in your community.

Every response helps us better understand how our community thinks about dating, relationships, communication, consent, and confidence. As a Momentum® member, you can participate in fun community challenges, earn points toward exclusive rewards, share your perspective, and help inspire future campaigns and content just like this one.

Because the best advice doesn't come from us. It comes from you! So here's your sign. Whether you're sending the DM, asking someone to grab coffee, or striking up a conversation at your favorite coffee shop...Shoot your shot. Just remember to do it respectfully.